To make a long sad story short and funny... here are the details:
Get home, have had chest pains since Thursday the week before. But since I had just finished working 12 hours at work that day, my body, mind, and soul were exhausted. But the pain was worse today than ever and it was shooting through my left arm and my hands were feeling numb and cold. Uh-oh. Now, let me backtrack a little so you understand. I live with pain every day. Back when my first husband was messing with my mind... I developed psoriasis from the stress. It then turned into psoriatic arthritis (which is like rheumatoid arthritis but you cannot see it in any of the usual tests). Then on top of that, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I was told that when the medical world cannot figure out why you are healthy on the inside but in constant pain... it is referred to as fibromyalgia. Interesting. All I know is that I hurt, all the time. Sometimes it gets so bad that I cannot even dress myself in the mornings and at times, especially after I had my Jadyn (2 year old), I would sit and cry as I could not even pick her up. But going to doctors and being probed and tested didn't bring any results that sat well with me, and all they gave me was narcotics for the pain... and I just cannot function on those during the day. Don't get me wrong, they come in handy in the evenings with drinks but never during a working day where my brain has to function at a 100 mph! So, when my chest pains originally started, although I thought it to be odd, I didn't worry particularly since I always have pain and they tend to move around. BUT Wednesday, i knew I needed to seek medical assistance. So, I asked my husband to call our hospital to find out where the urgent care center was... and they asked us to call the 24 hour emergency nurse hotline in the back of our blue cross cards. So he did, and handed the phone to me... after asking me a few symptoms and such questions, she typed a few things into her database, verified my social, my address, and my dob, and then said, "Ma'am, you need to hang up with me right now and call 9-1-1! i will call you back in 5 minutes to follow up.) I looked over at my spouse and just started bawling. I barely gasped out that he needed to call 911... and there went the night!
Well, I am not sure what added to the chest pains and anxiety... the 12-15 fire and paramedics that responded (all men with the exception of one woman), or the fact that they all got to see the twins (thank goodness strapped in a bra), or the fact that they saw my muffin top belly, or the excitement of a particular fireman's crotch at face level! Oh my... even my blood pressure was high at the time. I thought I died and had gone to stripper heaven or something "I knew God would reward me", I thought... until I peeked over and saw my husband holding my little baby and all my neighbors in my living room with all of us! Aaaaaarrrrgggghhh! Anyway, after the usual checkup to ensure that i was not under cardiac arrest, they didn't want to take chances with me so they took me in. My husband accompanied me to a nearby small emergency room whereby they administered some painkiller (sounded like thorozine), a narcotic (sounded like ativan), and MORPHINE! YES, you read right.
Well, I got out that morning and got back early that morning but I wondered as I crawled into bed just who I was sacrificing all of this for... what if something were to go terribly wrong with me one day. What would happen to my children and husband and other loved ones? Then I knew that they would survive it all... and that it would be my sacrifice for them. As Jesus sacrificed for me. And that made me feel better and calmer. But I was high as a kite too! WOO HOO!
Okay, so I'll continue to fill you in on this as I have a doctor's appt tomorrow morning. I am tired now and want to go mi-mis.
Love,
Me
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