It's been a while since I've blogged any entries... my life has been consumed by every day activities and well, just life itself. For those of you who are not keeping up, I bought a cafe a few months ago. Yes, you read it right... I bought and opened a cafe! What was I thinking? Well, my main objective was to help my son and his childhood friend out by getting them going into operating and managing their own business... at my expense (sigh). I am sure that from the tone of this brief recap, you would gather that I am struggling with that decision. It has not been pretty. I have pretty much depleted my savings account and now am wondering what the heck I was thinking?
I wasn't. That is typical of me. I tend to jump into situations as I am always rushed to help someone in need. When it comes to myself, I can psycho analyze the crap out of every little thing. But when it comes to the benefit of others, I jump through hoops! Well, this was one of those scenarios. I thought I would help Peter, his mom, and my son out by coming up with this brilliant idea... and I honestly didn't want anything really but to break even and maybe get a tax break out of it. I mean, don't get me wrong... I was hoping things would go well, but I had no high hopes of making big money from this. What I didn't realize or even fathom was how much I had to lose from it. I just jumped in thinking about all the positives this could bring about for everyone... and instead, so far, it is biting me in the arse.
At this point, there is nothing else I can do except wait it out (sigh). I've never been a quitter, and I can't quit now. Not yet. I've got to give it a year so it can take its full course. Even at the expense of going broke!
Anyway, sorry this wasn't bubbly with good news. It will take a whole new subject to make me bubbly right now.
BUT, I do have many things to be thankful and grateful for. Like my children, my health, and my sanity and wits (for now). I do feel blessed even when I am down, especially when my kids are around me. I feel so enriched and full... even with a headache and an empty stomach at the end of a long and hard day. And for whatever reason, even at my lowest point these days, I feel hopeful and not completely at a loss. After all, I do know that He is with me. Every step of the way. And even though I don't see His footsteps in the sand next to mine... I believe that He is carrying me right now. Not to be dramatic but I really do, in my heart, feel this is the case.
Hope you all are doing okay. You are all in my prayers!
Love,
Me
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